> cat /var/log/your-failures.log_
A very special round of applause for 34.96.62.94 for their valiant — and entirely unsuccessful — attempt to compromise our systems. We truly couldn't have done it without you. Well, actually we could. We did. You failed.
Did you think you were anonymous? That's adorable. Here's what we know about you:
| IP Address | 34.96.62.94 |
| Country | Belgium |
| Region | Brussels Capital |
| City | Brussels |
| ISP / Org | Unknown |
| Timezone | Unknown |
| Coordinates | 50.8534, 4.347 |
Nice browser you've got there. It'd be a shame if someone… logged it.
Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; Win64; x64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/110.0.0.0 Safari/537.36
Every single one of your pathetic attempts, lovingly preserved for posterity. Spoiler alert: they all failed.
| # | Timestamp | Attack Type | Method | Target URI | Detail |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | HEAD | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 2 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 3 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 4 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 5 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 6 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 7 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | HEAD | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 8 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 9 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 10 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | Server-Side Request Forgery | GET | / |
ssrf [HEADER][HTTP_USER_AGENT] matched /(?:127\.0\.0\.[01]|0\.0\.0\.0|localhost|::1|\[::1\])/i |
| 11 | 2026-03-18T22:22:06Z | General Fuzzing / Forced Browsing | GET | / |
BANNED (repeat offender) |
You came. You saw. You got absolutely owned by a hedgehog.
Every request you made was detected, logged, and laughed at. Our WAF didn't even break a sweat. Maybe next time try something more challenging — like reading a book on operational security.
Pro tip: If you're going to hack a cybersecurity company, maybe don't use the same IP address for every single request. Just a thought.